Post with 2 notes
It’s like honey and cinnamon
on sugar’s breath, your kisses on my neck.
It’s like coffee and summer wines
bathing in that look in your eyes.
And I can’t explain what kills me so
but it’s the way you
feel like
home.
it’s late, and I, confused, must wake
in four, four
hours does not rhyme, but
visually it does, but
I think my wrist break is permanent.
pain for the rest of my life.
and tomorrow is a new day I will face gladly, so please
won’t you kill,
kill me?
I was up ‘til seven yesterday.
slept ‘til eleven and now here I am again
too little sleep
about to shrug it off and keep
it to myself.
I’m afraid tomorrow will never come.
I’m afraid that I will run, run, run
from the coming of the sun
for I am ill again.
in body and in my head
and I, confused
refuse
to save myself at all
so good night,
sleep tight
this is the final call
You will not raise me from this grave of a bed.
No, you will not raise this flesh.
I am lying good as dead. I will never rise again.
It’s been twenty years if it’s been a day,
Another ten beckons, and I’m on my way.
Let me offer advice, child. Stay your heart before it goes wild,
Raise your double barrel and aim-
Get trigger happy. It’s the only way to stay safe.
Then learn from me. Find a permanent place to be
Prostrate, immobile, free.
And stay, stay, stay. Never leave.
You will not raise me from this bed.
You will not raise this flesh.
Post with 1 note
Heart, heart is steady, flesh is willing
but the mind, my mind is stutt’ring
clinging to expectations/hearing only haveto
and I cannot stand. I will not last.
Whispers of how close
like an orgasm that slips away
almost there, but may as well
have never tried. Exhausted,
pointless, may as well
close my eyes, rest my head
Do you know what I mean?
i picked up the wood, i hewed it myself. i flipped the ax at you, said
catch if you can and rise if you can, i will be busy
turning my back
and you said, you will not see the end of our play
but i will rerise with the sun of three days
and i said
here are my bullets, here are my stakes
here are my words, and here are my faiths
and you will see the truer meaning
when your sun does not rise
for what cross i bear
i’ll keep quiet inside.
may waits around the corner, for me. I approach, slowly, savor every
breath of fresh air, every stretch and contract of my muscles
well aware that when I greet her, she will wrap me
in her arms and we will have
no time
left to
speak.
she’s a heartbeat away, but I am afraid that if I let may
hold me, she’ll suffocate me
I need her so much, need her resolute love
but
lately, with the pressure she’s putting on me, I have been feeling
this may be the last time I meet may
and this may be the time may
finally kills me.
the insecurity it breeds, the restless thing inside me, screaming near constantly
that if nothing happens now, now, now, then I’m not worthy.
what happens here (or happens not) just feeds feeds feeds
the demon being that rages need.
and it is clawing out of me.
you could hold me for the rest of time
press me to your self, skin on skin
but you would never feel like him
I’d never feel this unbroken, never be this open
and you’d never be able to say, ‘she’s mine.’
there’s a whole lot more I was going to say,
but I think this will do.
you would never be safe in me
never be sure I was in love, because
you’d never know I was
and maybe I never was.
but him, I know
I love
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so life offers up a person, instead
says, here, try this on. you can’t possibly
walk away without a little bending
but their effects
are never permanent
i learn, but i never repent
and when they leave, or i move (on or away)
i am never changed.
i may change you, but i
am immutable. unredeemable
maybe the only one these days with a moral code…
i, am not changed.
i may have changed you, but i
have been left
unscathed.
Post with 1 note
sometimes, life comes along, shakes your hand
says, we’re changing this, and this, and i better not hear
complaints.
i learned fast when i was five: you shake its hand right back
and say, hey, i’ll live with it.
you can’t hand me anything i cannot take.
over the years, your shoulders stoop
and your back begins to bend
so when the scoliosis hit, i said
that’s it.
you will not change me again.
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